A Master's Mouldings

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Thursday, June 7, 2007

18 May
Cry, My Beloved Heart!
Yet Silence Be My Faithful Companion

experienced close-up my 1st death in SGH... we were hving surgery tutorial & entered the high dependency ward. standing @ the nurse counter, the closest bed up close had curtains drawn, & i quietly observed as family members of the patient entered the ward in tears, shaking their heads @ each otr in significance of a wld-be passing on. my acute senses picked up the cues, tho many of my team mates did not, & as the family gathered ard the bed, tears streaming, the only sound i heard (blocking out all otr mumblings) was the sound of tt dreadful machine tt records 1's heartbeats.. tee-tee-tee-tee-tee-------------------- (alvin looked up & commented: 'tt's not a nice sound) my heart was achin as tears formed to hwever much my orbits cld contain with my eyes & appendages, without letting e tears spill out & wet my face.

it was so painful, deep in e recesses of my heart, & the surg tutorial jus passed with me seemingly hearing, using wat ounces of my attention left to learn, holding a brave fort as i built up a Great Wall with my eyelids to dam up e wld-be flow.. & also trying to dig trenches deep deep in my orbits to fill the tears.. & oh heart of mine weeping!

had started e day in pure exhaustion & this only drove me deeper into inward silence. ann & sing patted me but i demanded they dun touch me, for any comforting pat wld jus trigger off a watery outflow frm the windows of my soul.

i rmbr this day well. its a day when the trio became quirky as we suffered brain drain & tt sly character called Weariness came & infused us more than it did b4.. where ovr fits of nonsense we laughed on our faces yet cried inwardly.. during tea aftr lunch

& thereaftr tt death took me deeper into a myriad of emotions..

but to e beloved ann & sing, we went aftr tt & talked ovr sugarcane, releasing some bottled up emos & fears frm within.. not complete release: tt only comes when 1 comes b4 our loving heavenly Father & draw close to Him.. but now, it was sufficient to say, words of wisdom & encouragemt patched up some of tt sore wound within..

tt day was 1 of those days i din feel lik replying smses.. jus needed tt time alone.. jus needed to come close to God & seek Him.. so if ever i dun reply smses for a long while, dun worry, for i am in safe arms..

"I, even I, am He who comforts you."
Isaiah 51:12

teenster-clay*mouldedwithlove*craftedwithcare
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